A teacher's look

5pm May 1
In my own students' "piano graduation ceremony" hosted by the music teachers in this area, every student was introduced by their own writing. They had to answer a couple questions, including:
1. What are you interested in studying after graduation?
2. What was the biggest influence in your music study?

One student answered:
1. Not studying
2. My teacher's wrath

***
I always think I am a pretty good student. I always do my homework and seldom ditch classes. Recently however, especially after my trip, it is hard to find motivation to do anything, let alone writing a final project in Japanese.

7:40pm May 10
I showed up in class tonight without my project. I even walked in ten minutes late because I went to eat Pho.

My teacher said to me, "C san, everyone already draw a number for the presentation. Now you will be last."

"I did not do it..." I told her.

Then it was this look on her face, somewhat between puzzled and disbelief, hard to describe.

Oh, I forgot how polite Japanese are. so I hurried and added, "Gomenasai" (I am sorry).

"You did not do it?" she asked, with a slow, subdued voice.

I wish I could come up with an excuse. But looking at the expression on her face, I suddenly found myself speechless.

"No. gomenasai!"

"Do you know it is 10 percent of your grade?"

"hai, I do."

"So you are taking this class credit or no credit?"

"Hmm...no...but...I don't have time...I don't care for my grade..." I mumbled.

"You did not do it?" she asked a second time.

I shaked my head.

Then there was silence. She did not say anything more, nor asked me why, nor asked me to make it up.

Just that look on her face.

***
All my Japanese teachers are excellent teachers. They have utmost respect for their profession-sensei. They are extremely hard working and responsible. I have been studying with Matsuda sensei for a year now. There are not a lecture that was not well-prepared and not a homework assignment that was not corrected and returned.

This is the final week. I stayed in class tonight listening to everyone's presentation....

10:30pm, May 10
I returned home. Without eating my usual late night snack, without changing into pajamas, I turned on my computer and started typing.


2am, May 11
My room looked like it was just hit by a tornado of paper, notes and books.

I just sent my teacher an email.

"Matsuda sensei,
Gomenasai, I have done a simple report on ths topic. I have attached a draft for your reference. I am wondering whether I can still do my presentation this Wednesday?..."

I discovered something new about myself this morning:
1. Laziness is my human nature.
2. Sometimes a teacher's look is the biggest motivator.