Humpty Dumpty

I started my first music position in old town Orange. Now after many years, I return to the Orange circle, but this time as a choir member.
***

I remember hearing the harmony of the intervals third and sixth for the first time as a child. I thought it was the most beautiful sound in the world.

In Junior high, our music teacher Mr. Lam told me to sing in the girls' chorus and to play piano for the boys' chorus. Those days you did not say no to a teacher. But I am glad I was submissive and I am grateful to him. These choral acitivities have given me some of the fondest memories in childhood.

I still can hear the music we sang in my head. I especially like the boys' "Humpty Dumpty"

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again.

We won a first place in Hong Kong School Music Festival. What a significant event in a twelve-year old's life! How proud we were, performing in Hong Kong City Concert Hall and recording for the classical radio!

However, being the only girl in a boys' chorus is not all that fun sometimes.
Not if you open your school bag and find a huge fake spider!
***

Now that I have grown up, having spent some years studying music. I have discovered more beautiful harmony than just thirds and sixths: major, minor, diminished chords and even chords that "crash" have their own charm. There is a fascinating sound world in choral music. My appreciation of music may be more sophisticated now, but the joy of singing in a good choir remains the same: learning good music, refining choral techniques, enjoying team work, building comradeship.

Just for the simple pleasure of feeling like a child again, how can I keep from singing?

missing footprints

My friends G always walks her dog along the lake. She always run into M who also walks her dog there. It is good time chatting and exercising together.
It has been a couple months that G hasn't seen M. It must have been the winter cold weather and shorter day light.
Recently G got a mountain bike. She left M a phone message to invite her to bike together.
Her housemate called back. M has been hit by a car while biking to work. She passed away.
It is news that is heavy enough to sink a heart.
***
Some people's exsistence may seem insignificant. We may take their company for granted. After their passing, there is not grief striken memory, but bitter sweet reminder of a kind and delightful human being, who have graced our world with their footprints.

Emma and the present moment

After three months of my book club , I finally finished Gustave Flaubert's Madame Bovary.

I put in on the nightstand after I finished reading the last chapter. It made me depressed.

It is not my favorite book, but it is certainly one of the greatest literature I have ever studied.

Many experts have explored the book's near-perfect structure and the author's superb artistry in poetic expression and realistic observation, and I won't attempt to add more.

It has been a very sad journey for me these days to dwell into her world. Emma is someone who does not live in the present moment. Boredom and disengagement of the now is a constant malady in her mind. She only lives in the past or in the fantasy of the future. She only lives in the romantic world of her dreams.

"At the end of some indefinite distance there was always a confused spot, into which her dream died" (II-ix)

Emma loves the image and glamour of music instead of music. At first she plays the piano, but she soon "gave up music, What was the good of playing? Who could hear me? ..it was not worthwhile boring herself with practicing."

For her, religion is a veil for existence. She "loved the church for the sake of the flowers, and music for the words of the songs, and literaure for its passional stimulus, rebelled against the mysteries of faith as it grew irritated by discipline." (I-vi)

It is a pity to see how she led herself into destruction. How she hurt those who were closest to her and loved her.

"She found in adultery all the banality of marraige... She was not happy. She never had been. Whence came this insufficiency in life-this instantaneous turning to decay of everything on which she leant?" (III-v)

She is a narcissus. If loving others is a capacity and a determination, she is incapable, and have no purpose.

I have been reflecting on human conditions. Flaubert's fatalist perspective and pessimism is depressing to ponder. But, looking at the dim light from my lamp, I realize how precious is redemption and salvation.

Old friends and true friends

I am supposed to write my own blog. But I came across this reflection on friendship from Cythnia Bougeault that is so wise and true that I cannot write any of my own:

"Old friends” and “true friends” are not necessarily identical. Old friends have stood the test of time; true friends are timeless. True friends may have been in your life since your childhood or they may have shown up only yesterday, but it’s from the quality of the heart that you know them, not the number of years you’ve logged together.

We can’t command the heart, of course. We can’t pre-screen our friends for potential “forever” status, or impose this expectation as a unilateral requirement. But paradoxically, perhaps, the best way to help all our friendships grow wisely and well is to take responsibility for our own aloneness.

The more we can take responsibility for our own emotional well-being, the more we can live comfortably in our own skin, the more friendship can become what it is truly meant to be — whether for the whole of our life or just the miracle of the present: the spontaneous overflowing of our uniquely human capacity for intimacy, compassion, and joy.

Cynthia Bourgeault is an Episcopal priest, writer and retreat leader. She is founding director of the Aspen Wisdom School in Colorado and principal visiting teacher for the Contemplative Society in Victoria, BC, Canada

behind the glamour

I have been evaluating for the Music Teacher Association of California for their annual piano examination for many years. Students from first to twelveth grade, ranging from level one to advanced are individually evaluated for their techniques, sight reading and performance.

Today the experience was especially memorable. My assignments took place in California State University Long Beach, in a large choral room with a Steinway grand piano in the middle. The spot lights were on. The room was empty and quiet, with no audience.

A young man in his twenties came in. He was auditioning for his level two certificate as an adult student. He was nervous. His hands were shaking. It took a while for him to calm down.

Then he started to play. He played through all the required elements with the dedication of an adult and the enthusiasm of a child. He treated his music with utmost respect, performing Bach's minuet and a rag-time contemporary piece.

At the end of the session, he eagerly asked me:
"How did I do?"

Never having been asked earnestly of approval from a grown man, I assured him with a smile,
"well done!"

With a big grin on his face, he noded his head. I heard him, stepping out of the room and shouting at someone,
"I PASSED!"

Yes, you passed with flying colors.

***

A fifth grader came in for her level five examination. She wore glasses and a pony tail. Her feet could barely reach the pedal. She even came in with her own pedal extension. Her manners communicated to me that she is taking this evaluation seriously.

I listened intently when she played. She was enjoying her time with her music. Her techniques were spotless clean. Her fast movement was full of joy and vitality; Her slow movement was expressive and eloquent; Her phrasing and tone color was exquisitely beautiful. Her performance was mature beyond her age.

Her music has really moved me. It reflected the innocence and purity of the human spirit. This child has remarkable talent and she has been nurtured by a conscientious and capable teacher. She has received some very thoughtful musical training.

It was delightful to meet a gifted young student who has such devotion to her art. I recommended her for the highest honor. I wish her a wonderful journey of musical discovery.

I am also grateful for her teacher who has shaped such a fine young artist. It gives me much hope and encouragement for our profession.

For one moment, three strangers, shared a special connection through our work and music.

***
We all see the glamour of performance on stage. We don't see, behind the closed doors, there are many who are disciplined and labor routinely for their art, with no applause.

Only the creation quietly bears testimony of its creator.

up in the air

I just watched "Up in the Air" in which George Clooney's performance earned him an Oscar best actor nomination. He has found his match of onscreen chemistry in Vera Farmiga, whom I found irresistably sexy and attractive.
Clooney played Ryan Bingham who literally lives his life out of a suitcase. All year long he travels all over the world for business. His chance encounter with Alex, who is a fellow business traveler, along with his sidekick protege, help him realize that life is about the connections that one makes along the journey.
The movie also explores the human condition of loneliness and the alienation of people in the modern world. It is a deeper movie than I expected.

"Up in the Air is light and dark, hilarious and tragic, bouncy and brainy, romantic and real"---Entertainment Weekly.

inspiration

Thanks to the inspiration of Lamina o'oz and A, I am starting my own blog. There are moments of daily lives, some profound, some not too significant. They all have a life of its own and are waiting to be re-created.